Friday, June 17, 2011

They said her name was favor...

something i wrote a couple years ago for church about the story of Hannah


They said her name means Favor




They said her name means Favor. That’s what you had for her Lord. Favor, meaning defeat for my enemies. Favor, meaning with it victory and I are inseparable. To have favor with you, oh Lord. To know that when my tears fall, they fall where you can catch them; that they will flow into a river… and once I climb over tribulation and reach to touch the glory you grant me; that there flow that river that will reflect every time my head hung low and you lifted up my eyes. To know that when my heart aches, that is when you hold me tightest in your arms. To know that when I am breaking, the pieces of me fall in your hands…and you rebuild me. To know that my cries and calling float past this world and directly into your ears, with no detour. To know that even in being empty, I am ever full. Favor, To know that when you hear my voice, you listen…because you know me, because I am one of yours, because when I cry daddy you know its your child calling for you.



They said her name means favor. And at night as she wept and prayed and called you, almost with every breath, and every tear; through blurred eyes looked up to you…she didn’t lose faith. She cried only because she hurt, not because she didn’t believe. She knew who you were. Because you knew who she was. Because she lived for you, so you put life in her. And as her enemies mocked and laughed and claimed the impossible, up went her devotion to you. With every malicious remark made, two more prayers that almost silently left her lips were sent to you. She didn’t cease praying, she didn’t stop believing, she persistently asked for the gift you would bless her with, because she knew you never stopped hearing her. Everything her heart had, she gave to you…because everything she needed you gave to her. And when the world thought the pain was her demise, when the world thought she whispered her desires to you in vain…you showed them the excellence of the God she served with a son that she called the name of God.



They said her name means favor. And she knew what you would do, she knew what favor meant. So when she got off of her knees, sore from talking with you, when she promised to give you the best of whatever you gave to her, when she said your will be done, she got up knowing that it was already done. She needed not to anguish anymore because she understood the God she served. The words that left her lips and the blood that flowed through her veins and hope her heart had came from you. To know that with you, her spirit can rest. To know that she didn’t just live her life, she lived and died with you.



They said her name means favor. And when I pray to you, I’ll think of her. And maybe one day my name will mean favor, too.

love, compassion, royalty


Qu3eN G

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Generation US

generation US, remember, you will have to look at your reflection in the turbulent seas that rattle beneath your feet. how long before you realize the news story is your reality? you don’t breathe your own air, exhale something other than a carbon-dioxide and stale oxygen cocktail? downcast eyes and a sigh of pity will no longer be a sufficient response to self inflicted genocide. you are more than yourself; every piece that compiles the essence that is you, is product of some source investing into your existence...the cells in your dermis the blood gliding in your veins, even the soul that sits within you was given to you for purpose, to BORROW...humanity is calling for you to give it back now. generation US, the sky is falling and it shatters in your sleep, uncover your rose colored eyes and wake up. God is telling US generation WE is at hand. Selah

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

your last poem

this is a piece inspired by the movie for colored girls...and personal experiences. please, take back your love. its worth so much. and receive the love of Jesus...it is the purest love to exist!

YOUR LAST POEM
by Qu3eN G


and this will be the last soul song
dedicated to deception
that seeps from your rotten tongue
its odor pungent to my heart strings
cringing at the smell and sound of your
death
the lies
lying readily in your toungue, escaping from the crevices of your tastebuds
shimmying up the ladder of your throat, crawling up from the cracks of your
concrete filled chest cavity, split like brooklyn's cracks
and decade old dried spit at brim of its splits
you must be immune to its poison to let it leak so carelessly
responsive as clockwork, tick tock knock
uh, time tapping on heart but i remain moveless
used to this
death
of your lies
today, this will be the last of it
i, i have a good mind rip off your lips and lasserate your tongue
like it's mutilated my ears with your
rottenness
but the lips are merely the tips of the fist that has pounded me
pounded us
beaten beaten beaten us
it may not have been a fist to my cheek
but i felt balled up fingers and steel wrist
play xylophone on my uterus
smash crashing my womanhood
notes leaving signatures
as they flow through me
even before you lay a finger
your words so evil
i am tired of painting pictures
in the blackness of closed lids
saying its not who you are its just what you did
but what you do repeatedly is who you are
your redundancy
flashplayback
through you i see, i can tell your battle cry before even the threat of war
takes precedency
i know you as much as you don't know me
this is the last of it
 don't you ever tell me that you love me
the day your sorry emptiness tries to pollute my lungs
with the destruction you breed,
cloaking your dagger with a love seed,
i hope you choke on it.
you don't know what love means.
you, don't know, what i mean
you don't know me. you never knew me. you don't know me
you don't know i seep through your window with the trickle of sun light
or whipser in your ear through headphones filled with the rhythm that only tries to mimic the magic in my voice
you don't know
when i begged you to start treating my like the extraction of your skeletal structure that i am you were hearing the real syphony
or when i begged you to stop surgically removing my dignity, operating on scars that scar my memory because this flesh will follow me even after leaving the closed doors
when i begged you to cease, but your ego so loudly screamed over your humanity that you blocked out my pleas of please, don't, i can't
that those words opposing my new bad dream was the original music in Gods melody
that guitars try to strum to sound like the honey in my voice
you don't know i'm the dew that sits on the surface of your mothers eyes
for every you from her past that put the wrinkles in her brow and the stitches in her heart
you don't know that was her lying on her back hoping when you removed your hand from whatever was left of her purity that maybe it was a nightmare that tasted a little too much like reality? that part of her was in my body?
you don't know i'm the consistancy in your heartbeat, that's why it stutters everytime you lie to me
you don't know i'm in the very shirt you put on
except you were never worthy of my wrapping because this gift wasn't for you
you don't know i'm the melanin in your skin
the revelation in your reflection, the part of you that is so beautiful you don't even deserve to be
you don't know that's me?
you don't know me becaue you don't know yourself
don't you ever tell me you love me
even as a friend
because demons who lay in hell
treat me better than your sorry lies did
least i know their mission is to break me
but broken i will not be
this is the last of anything inspired by you
any anyone like you
any thing posing in the shell of a man
but contents reek of inadequacy
for the death of your attempts to keep me confined to hours between sunset
i'm sorries
and sunrises
i love you
in taking her out
i missed you
and laying me out
i didn't mean it
in making me nauseous at the person i had become
i respect you
in compromising roses for day old dandelions
my bouqet reaches far past your fingertips
your jagged lips
and your eyes that never tell anything but disillusionments and fabrications
for watching you hurt me, and take away what i will never get back
for hearing my strength leave my body with every scream made silence
for every moment i wanted to step on your chest and reclaim myself, but
ended up accepting our demented agreement because i couldn't accept what i'd become
for looking at the monster that reached up from out of your belly
and told me i liked your violation because you coulnd't come to terms with being terminated
and your emotions were too delicate to realize you were unwanted
for being tangled in the stings attached to a hollow boy, wondering why
when i knocked at your heart all i could hear was an echo
for laying there, waiting for you to finish taking that last bit of my body
since you had forcefully taken everything i had left, including my self respect
for me walking away excusing you, pardoning you for your sins
and yet being even more blessed than most
this. is the very last thing you will get from me.
for my love is too purely beautiful, so painfully astronomical, so tremendously epic,
too perfectly endless, to be thrown back in my face
even though i want to hate you
i cannot
because even though i never loved
barely liked you
i must thank the lessons you tattooed on my wounds
i see them, and i see who i'm meant to be
though you are sorry
though you always say sory
though deception seeps from your rotten tongue
its odor pungent to my heart strings
i am not sorry
i am everything you never deserved
everything you could never be
i am a child of the most divine divinity
rebirthed with a crown that coils with the kinks of my regality
i am over you
because i am floating
i am flying
on the wings of every healed heart, every broken woman
every soul that knows the song of i'm sorry
and wrote a new one despite it
those of us who rise like warm colors in swift wind
every woman, woman enough to be woman, in the face of shattered life
so don't you ever, ever, ever say you love me
don't let that lie slip from your torrid lips
because i love me
 i love my love
i found it sitting at the end of my tainted rainbow
holding hands with some colored girls
one for every shade of strength


love, compassion, royalty
Qu3eN G