Monday, September 10, 2012

This I believe

The following is our first assignment of the semester, but I decided to share it with you. It's called "This I believe..." 

It's a genuine snapshot of my heart.

I plan on taking this simple 2-2.5 page paper and turning it into a really cool media project.

The following is the actual essay...click here for the audio recording!


I am ardently, immensely, and genuinely passionate about 3 things. These things, or rather the unequivocal love for them, are the very essence of my being. They are:
God.
People.
And art.
I distinctly remember toddler hands clasped beneath my chin in prayer before I knew there was an actual terminology for talking to God. My father has endless stories to confirm my persistent interaction with this intangible God that has always been so real to me. Even to this day, he says he knew from very early on that not only was I sent by God, but that I was almost born in love with Him. At this very moment, my deepest desire is to live my life as a love story to Him.
As a very young child before I could properly articulate my love for others, my compassion for other living things was made very apparent by abundant displays of affection and a natural predisposition to give away any and everything I had (including cookies, toys, time) to those who seemed like they needed a bit of love in that moment. I rarely got reprimanded for not sharing, but often for being a bit too generous with whatever I had…even when I didn’t have much. I knew life mattered, I knew people mattered. I knew there was something that pulled me from deep inside whenever someone was unhappy. I made it my mission to sit with the lonely person and talk to the odd one out. I guess in a way even then, I knew if they were alive, then it was for a reason.
My sisters are 6 and 8 years older than me. I spent much time trying to do algebra before I could properly subtract, and write essays before I could properly spell. But one thing that gave me confidence was creating. I knew I could do that, without inhibition. I can vividly remember coloring time being more than a playful activity, but a euphoric experience that required my heart as much as it did my mega box of Crayola. Strokes of my crayon were never mere scribbles to me, but in my mind I always thought I was making something meaningful. I was always the last one still adding finishing touches because everything that I made, mattered. I don’t know if that was childhood naivete as much as the wisdom of innocence. Sometimes, as an adult I have to channel that feeling because often times it becomes so easy to feel like what you create has little value or worth.  The reality still stands that sometimes a heartfelt picture can transcend age, circumstance, or language. It still does when I see an orphan from Haiti hand me a personal miracle made of colored wax.

I started dancing around three or four years old, and I have yet to find anything as spiritually electrifying as performing art. And as my parents will readily tell you, I belted and performed “I Will Always Love You” as if I was Whitney herself and lost the love of my life the moment before. I wrote my first song at the age of 7. Fascination with self expression was always consistent, and it has never gone away. In fact, it seems as though life and experience have been the wood that constantly fuel that very fire. The more I live, the more I know that this is embedded in me.
I knew all these things made me feel like sunshine was in my bloodstream, like rainbows grew beneath my skin. I still feel that way.  I was bilingual before I mastered the English language…my soul spoke art and love fluently.
So you see, knowing the three things I am passionate about gives you a very solid introduction to who I am. Truly understanding this, however, tells you more about me than even my social security number. In 22 years of living, in all 8,075 days of breathing on this particular planet, I have come to the conclusion that loving these very things with every atom of my being is the purpose of my existence. Before I really knew how to describe it, I knew that this is who I am. I learned that unapologetically loving God, unconditionally loving people, and committing my life to living art were all truly intertwined. And I whole-heartedly believe that each and every one of us is a living, moving piece of artwork purposefully created to fit in a masterpiece much greater than we can really fathom. For every day that we have the blessed opportunity to wake up, breathe air, and feel life humming in our bones is neither accidental nor coincidental, but the intentional rewetting of our paintbrushes…it is God’s way of telling us that we still have more creating to do.


Picture of the day:
Live what you love! Some photos: self portrait (rough draft), Rhode Island Teen Institute, Cafe SOUL feature (spoken word), Dancing (Movements of Grace), performing an original song, "Whirled on A String" production with BCC theatre company, Service work in San Juan Del Sur, Nicaragua (photo with local kids), portion of an original painting call "Blue God" (inspired by the song by Jessica Reedy)

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love, compassion, royalty

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Obedience, Art, and Cafe Soul


so glad I listened to the Holy Spirit
God TOLD ME I needed to pray for someone tonight.....
He said I HAD TO BE at Cafe Soul to pray for someone. Cafe SOUL is Christian based art/music/poetry/love spot in RI. Ever since I met their C.E.O, Contessa and her mother, they have been like family to me. And CS has been home.
Well I hadn't been home for a while. but tonight was the night.
He also told me I had to sing one of the songs I wrote, because someone needed to be ministered to.
I thought it was crazy…but I went with it.
I am so glad I did. I love the beautiful people God allows me to cross paths with.
I met the person I had to pray for…talk about DIVINE intervention! It was a young man who had visited my church about 4 years ago. I don't remember him at all, but he was so shocked at the fact that I was a member there. He started being so open and honest with me about things he doesn't usually talk about (people do that a lot, friends and strangers...I know that's God). He will surely be on my prayer list. I hope we stay in touch. I know I'm mean to intercede for Him.
and I know that song ministered to someone. I didn’t even rehearse it! I just prayed and prayed and prayed in the spirit on the whole drive there. Prayed someone would be fed. Prayed God would lead, that He would move. and I tell you, I never sang like that before. I felt God using me, I felt His Spirit flowing through me to speak to someone. He responded to my requests...He really did. 
The atmosphere was beautiful.
and He answered one of my prayers! I was asking Him about something regarding gifts, and boom, He uses my sis in Christ (who is the CEO of Cafe Soul) in one of her writings to respond to me.
nights like this, I’m reminded what I’m made for, and who I am made by.  It wasn’t a big,flamboyant show with a huge crowd. It was small, modest, intimate…but mostly it was ordained by God.
MARVELOUS! He’s marvelous. I love Him. I am in awe of His wonder, His perfect timing, His divine orchestration, His unfailing love, His beautiful presence.

God has so many phenomenal things for us if we just let go of ourselves and let Him lead.

love, compassion, royalty

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less than one month to south africa!