Monday, July 27, 2015

The Quarter Century Chronicles: Introduction



25.

1/4 of a century.
Half-way to 50.
Two and a half decades old.

To those in the first decade or two of life, it seems a lot like the last few days before the expiration date on the milk carton of youth. It seems dangerously close to that moment in growing up where removing the "young" before "adult" is necessary. It can feel like the shiny wrapping of your 20's has begun to fade and unravel, almost without warning. It can feel like a very relevant realization that you aren't 17 anymore, and your dreams will never wake from their slumber unless you relentlessly pursue their awakening. The luxury of living as though wishing was enough expired along with my 21 year old driver's license. This is not a dress rehearsal. Real life is happening NOW.

25 is more close to 30 than I've ever been. It makes me ponder how alarmingly fast adulthood snuck into my space-time continuum, and how overrated full time adulting can feel. It is safe to say that this is NOT what I expected of my mid twenties. Truly, I miss the days before Sallie Mae started calling me like a jealous boyfriend, before National Grid filled my mailbox like a nostalgic lover, before the days seemed so long and the years felt so short. Most days, I feel like I am so bad at being grown up. I may still have mental bruises from beating myself up so much. Actually, I feel like I should still be finishing phrases like "when I grow up"... yet I simultaneously feel like I am past due for a successful business and changed last name. I want a bowl of captain crunch and a healthy 401K at the same time.  A ring pop and a diamond ring. Is that too much to ask?

Yet and still, many on the far end of 25 see this age as the prime-time. If life is a feature length film, we are still in the preview years. Still too wet behind the ears to know much of anything. And as whimsically awkward as this season is, I would have to agree with them. In all the knowledge and wisdom I've acquired, the truth remains that I'm a young thang and I don't know much, all things considered. Lord willing, there is still so much life to live, so much of myself to learn, so much of my vision to actualize, so much more to do for the Kingdom. And it's all too exciting. I'm anxious and hopeful at the same time. It's like the feeling I get when I'm on a roller coaster that is creeping up the incline, right before the drop. It's the butterflies...a concoction of apprehension and anticipation swirling in my stomach right before that moment of adrenaline and exhilaration. There is so much to discover.

25 is magnificent because I know I wasn't supposed to make it here. There are so many moments, so many circumstances, so many monsters that tried to consume me, whole. So many things that tried to leave holes, and chew me bone and soul. I bled, I cracked, but I did not break. And I feel like reaching 25 with hope still stirring and joy still sprouting is a marvelous victory. I feel like I cheated death. Like every time optimism still kisses my thoughts, like every day I wake up smiling, like every time I choose to trust God's promise, I am sticking it to Satan. I owe it to Christ to live fully, to live with fire and fervor and heart. To live with gratitude. To give honor to His grace by chasing Him. To live on purpose, everyday.

The thing is there are still many things I thought I'd be better at by now and I am not any more perfect than I was at 24, or 23, or 22. But I am being perfected.  And I am getting better at embracing that process. In the interim, my skin feels better on me. My gifts feel better in me. My love looks more and more like me, and I'm giving it more and more like Jesus.

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some revelations reaching 25 has afforded me. Let's be real. I'm still figuring this job thing out, I have *real* debt, I talk too much, I still don't have a legit laundry schedule, I need to improve my time management, and I forget to eat at least one day a week. CLEARLY, I have not "arrived" and do not plan on pretending as if I have. Ya'll, I'm still just trying to get there. But I'm learning to accept my bumpy, winding, windy, wonderful road. It's rough terrain but my oh my, what a breathtaking view. I hope you stick with me for the ride.

Expect mistakes. Expect miracles. Expect the beauty of where they collide....and so the journey begins.

Happy birthday to me. Blessings to you.


Love, Compassion, Royalty,

Queen

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