This I believe

The following is our first assignment of the semester, but I decided to share it with you. It's called "This I believe..." 

It's a genuine snapshot of my heart.

I plan on taking this simple 2-2.5 page paper and turning it into a really cool media project.

The following is the actual essay...click here for the audio recording!

I am ardently, immensely, and genuinely passionate about 3 things. These things, or rather the unequivocal love for them, are the very essence of my being. They are:

God.

People.

And art.

I distinctly remember toddler hands clasped beneath my chin in prayer before I knew there was an actual terminology for talking to God. My father has endless stories to confirm my persistent interaction with this intangible God that has always been so real to me. Even to this day, he says he knew from very early on that not only was I sent by God, but that I was almost born in love with Him. At this very moment, my deepest desire is to live my life as a love story to Him.

As a very young child before I could properly articulate my love for others, my compassion for other living things was made very apparent by abundant displays of affection and a natural predisposition to give away any and everything I had (including cookies, toys, time) to those who seemed like they needed a bit of love in that moment. I rarely got reprimanded for not sharing, but often for being a bit too generous with whatever I had…even when I didn’t have much. I knew life mattered, I knew people mattered. I knew there was something that pulled me from deep inside whenever someone was unhappy. I made it my mission to sit with the lonely person and talk to the odd one out. I guess in a way even then, I knew if they were alive, then it was for a reason.

My sisters are 6 and 8 years older than me. I spent much time trying to do algebra before I could properly subtract, and write essays before I could properly spell. But one thing that gave me confidence was creating. I knew I could do that, without inhibition. I can vividly remember coloring time being more than a playful activity, but a euphoric experience that required my heart as much as it did my mega box of Crayola. Strokes of my crayon were never mere scribbles to me, but in my mind I always thought I was making something meaningful. I was always the last one still adding finishing touches because everything that I made, mattered. I don’t know if that was childhood naivete as much as the wisdom of innocence. Sometimes, as an adult I have to channel that feeling because often times it becomes so easy to feel like what you create has little value or worth.  The reality still stands that sometimes a heartfelt picture can transcend age, circumstance, or language. It still does when I see an orphan from Haiti hand me a personal miracle made of colored wax.

I started dancing around three or four years old, and I have yet to find anything as spiritually electrifying as performing art. And as my parents will readily tell you, I belted and performed “I Will Always Love You” as if I was Whitney herself and lost the love of my life the moment before. I wrote my first song at the age of 7. Fascination with self expression was always consistent, and it has never gone away. In fact, it seems as though life and experience have been the wood that constantly fuel that very fire. The more I live, the more I know that this is embedded in me.

I knew all these things made me feel like sunshine was in my bloodstream, like rainbows grew beneath my skin. I still feel that way.  I was bilingual before I mastered the English language…my soul spoke art and love fluently.

So you see, knowing the three things I am passionate about gives you a very solid introduction to who I am. Truly understanding this, however, tells you more about me than even my social security number. In 22 years of living, in all 8,075 days of breathing on this particular planet, I have come to the conclusion that loving these very things with every atom of my being is the purpose of my existence. Before I really knew how to describe it, I knew that this is who I am. I learned that unapologetically loving God, unconditionally loving people, and committing my life to living art were all truly intertwined. And I whole-heartedly believe that each and every one of us is a living, moving piece of artwork purposefully created to fit in a masterpiece much greater than we can really fathom. For every day that we have the blessed opportunity to wake up, breathe air, and feel life humming in our bones is neither accidental nor coincidental, but the intentional rewetting of our paintbrushes…it is God’s way of telling us that we still have more creating to do.

Picture of the day:

Live what you love! Some photos: self portrait (rough draft), Rhode Island Teen Institute, Cafe SOUL feature (spoken word), Dancing (Movements of Grace), performing an original song, "Whirled on A String" production with BCC theatre company, Service work in San Juan Del Sur, Nicaragua (photo with local kids), portion of an original painting call "Blue God" (inspired by the song by Jessica Reedy)

Please remember to check out THIS POST! (South Africa and Changing the World)

Click on the donate button to the left to support my service trip to South Africa next month!! ANY THING HELPS!

love, compassion, royalty

Obedience, Art, and Cafe Soul

so glad I listened to the Holy Spirit

God TOLD ME I needed to pray for someone tonight.....

He said I HAD TO BE at Cafe Soul to pray for someone. Cafe SOUL is Christian based art/music/poetry/love spot in RI. Ever since I met their C.E.O, Contessa and her mother, they have been like family to me. And CS has been home.

Well I hadn't been home for a while. but tonight was the night.

He also told me I had to sing one of the songs I wrote, because someone needed to be ministered to.

I thought it was crazy…but I went with it.

I am so glad I did. I love the beautiful people God allows me to cross paths with.

I met the person I had to pray for…talk about DIVINE intervention! It was a young man who had visited my church about 4 years ago. I don't remember him at all, but he was so shocked at the fact that I was a member there. He started being so open and honest with me about things he doesn't usually talk about (people do that a lot, friends and strangers...I know that's God). He will surely be on my prayer list. I hope we stay in touch. I know I'm mean to intercede for Him.

and I know that song ministered to someone. I didn’t even rehearse it! I just prayed and prayed and prayed in the spirit on the whole drive there. Prayed someone would be fed. Prayed God would lead, that He would move. and I tell you, I never sang like that before. I felt God using me, I felt His Spirit flowing through me to speak to someone. He responded to my requests...He really did. 

The atmosphere was beautiful.

and He answered one of my prayers! I was asking Him about something regarding gifts, and boom, He uses my sis in Christ (who is the CEO of Cafe Soul) in one of her writings to respond to me.

nights like this, I’m reminded what I’m made for, and who I am made by.  It wasn’t a big,flamboyant show with a huge crowd. It was small, modest, intimate…but mostly it was ordained by God.

MARVELOUS! He’s marvelous. I love Him. I am in awe of His wonder, His perfect timing, His divine orchestration, His unfailing love, His beautiful presence.

God has so many phenomenal things for us if we just let go of ourselves and let Him lead.

love, compassion, royalty

P.S. please check out this post ....

once you read that post, you can click on that yellow donate button on the right of the page!

support, pray, donate, suggest...anything helps! 

less than one month to south africa! 

Recognizing Support!

Love should always be acknowledged! That being said:

Shout out to my little brother and POWERFUL vessel of Christ, Jiri Baskerville for being an amazing supporter and my first donor! I will also be shouting him out on my blog. JOIN THE PARTY!

1. click the link and check out one of my blogs

http://gabriellesgibson.blogspot.com/2012/08/south-africa-and-changing-worldplease.html

http://qu3eng.blogspot.com/2012/08/south-africa-and-changing-worldplease.html

2. click the "donate" link, and give whatever you can (even $5 makes a difference!)

3. when I get a confirmation of your donation, you get a shout out on my blogs, facebook, and twitter!

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support!

PHOTO:

Kids playing at the biblioteca en San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua

South Africa and Changing the World...Please Help!

HEY GUYS!,

As you know, my name is Gabrielle Gibson, and I am a student at Roger Williams University in the College Unbound program. I am participating in a trip to South Africa this Fall from October 7, 2012 to October 18, 2012 to volunteer with the non-profit organization, Emthonjeni.  As a Community Development major, this is an excellent opportunity to actualize my passion for service and utilize my skills and talent to impact to those in need. It is also a chance to partake in a comprehensive and life changing learning experience. I also expect it to be extremely beneficial to the development of a global perspective.

While immersed in the South African culture, I will be working hands on as a community developer. This will be a wonderful opportunity to build experiences that can be beneficially translated into the work I currently do in the community, and help further my future goal of developing an academic and arts based non-profit.

 Emthonjeni is a non-profit that provides an array of services that promote health, education, and a prosperous community. Some services include:

·         Annual health fairs (where a medical team provides medical care for the community)

·         VCT testing and aid with HIV treatment

·          A community garden (which provides a healthy diet and potential income)

·         An after school program that feeds more than 250 children daily, give them school uniforms, clothes, food, homework assistance and computer training skills

Orphan and Vulnerable Children (OVC) program, which consists of 10 fully furnished houses that provide a loving homes for orphaned children from the surrounding settlement with a caring foster parent. This community is supported through a number of social services including access to primary preventative health care, food assistance, educational tutorials, spiritual, emotional and mental care.

I am working hard to prepare and take full advantage of this amazing opportunity to do what I love: changing lives by serving others. However, I still need the support of anyone willing to provide it. The time of travel is rapidly approaching. I thank you for any donation that you may be able to offer.  I am looking for donations to cover the travel, food and lodging. Airfare will be approximately $1600, and additional expenses will cost approximately $260. Again, I thank you for your help, and if you cannot donate personally I appreciate any suggestion that you may have for me.

Donations can be made by check, cash or to my PayPal Account (link is on the side of the blog)

Please feel free to email me about any questions you may have at tgibson120@hawks.rwu.edu or Ms.Gibson721@gmail.com

Appreciatively,

Gabrielle S. Gibson

 

A PHOTO FROM HAITI:
 

The only picture I have left from Haiti...the others were deleted :(
This is Javelin! A girl whose heart utterly melted mine. Javelin and her brother pretty much fend for themselves. When we gave out food to the kids in the community, she packaged hers to try and take it home to share with her family...sometimes it never even makes it there because people take advantage of these kids. She was about 5-6 in this picture.

A PHOTO FROM NICARAGUA:
 

This is a picture of kids in el campo (the rural area) in Nicaragua. They were so excited to receive shoes that we were giving out, in addition to soap and teddy bears. Most don't even own one single pair of shoes. The little girl on the right has the biggest smile and the brightest personality. I knew as soon as I saw those red shoes that they were made for her....they fit her perfectly!

"Remember Me" backstory

So I had a friend I was extremely close to. I mean ridiculously close. Every one thought we would get together, secretly were together, or would marry. His family was my family. His success was mine. His hurt was mine. His failure was mine. His hopes were mine. We called each other soulmates.  At at one point, I  thought I might have been in love with him...I realized that wasn't true. And after that, I left all romantic feelings but I loved him passionately. He was my best friend. People didn't understand us, it was something unseen before. I would literally do absolutely anything for him.

He had a lot of issues. A lot of insecurities. A lot of issues with God. But I was totally committed to loving him through that. In a way, I represented God for him. He knew how much I loved God, and how hard He was trying to run from Him.

 When I wanted to grow in Christ, I let a lot of things and a lot of people go. "Anything for You, Lord", I said. But he was my one condition. The one I would never let go, could never let go. So guess what?
He was the one thing I had to let go.

He was the hardest person to let go of. I could deal without the parties, the people, the clothes....but him?

But I did it. And I grew leaps and bounds in Christ, and I still missed him. But life went on. I never once regret sacrificing for Christ. Our intimacy was irreplaceable.

Then I was reminded of a moment during our friendship, randomly. And it hit me. I gave up one of the people I love the most for the God that I love more than this world...how did I get to the point where being productive was more important than our personal time? The God I gave up everything for, is the same God I had abandoned. So "Remember Me" poured out of my heart and dripped through my fingers. I didn't backslide, I didn't neglect God completely, but I just wasn't living hungrily enough. IN Christ, anything less than our absolute all simply isn't enough. I was reading, but not enough. I was praying, but not fervently enough. I need to give more.  This was my reality check, my apology, my love letter. Jesus, remember me...I am sorry for forgetting you.


Never forget who Christ is in you. Never forget your testimony, the price of the Blood, or the Love He's poured out.

Remember Me

I remember when he called me to tell me he loved me

not imagining a ring on my finger type love…more like

if there was a bullet cutting through wind and time he’d let it pierce him like an earring. only diamond though, no zirconia.

an I love you like, he wants to be by my side

near my heart

touching my hand

but never inside me, within my heart, or holding my hand

He called to tell me he loved me half drunk and fully aware that life was far more fragile than the glass bottle in his hand 

and more perplexing than inebriated black hole heartbeats can fathom

He called because death kissed his brother that day some years ago, and life left him like man afraid of commitment the morning after a one night stand. stole what it wanted, and jet.

 and so he wanted me to know, I mattered. slurred words, good intentions and midnight. shaken, not stirred.

and I wanted to love him right back, Lord. I did love him right back. I loved him like a tsunami crashing the sahara…nonsensical, non-sensible, ironic, overwhelming and out of place… but so refreshing.

and he pretty much loved me like chemo to cancer…kinda making me well but had me vomiting my soul up, stench of a sick girl rose up, trading death for poison. but he loved me the best he could, God. He did. and I thought I needed Him to get better.

and I wanted to love him like forever was a millisecond and by the time he said my name he had already been washed with eternities of unconditional

but why did I still see a film of depression lacquered pride like dust still dirtying dry bones?

I guess, Lord…forever with humans

is short. Like an unfinished text message and awkward silences that stretch miles over a passionate man trapped in a scarred scared boy’s fences. My love just couldn’t quite leap that high. His walls reached heaven but couldn’t touch You. I think I spent too much time in your presence to linger in His anymore. so I left our dysfunction like a cloud of sour smelling stench that just sits somewhere between letting go and letting God.

but for some reason, over a year later,

I remember that day. I remember him calling me to tell me he loved me. and how much I loved him. and how I would melt into the ocean just to move along this earth for him. and how I left all that love in the seas to swim deeper in your Living waters. I just held my breath and breathed you in and floated away from the one thing tied so deeply into my heart that he was sewn into my skin (I wonder if the world still sees the stitches?). I left him to Love you better.

and yet in this moment, I’ve abandoned you. We still talk everyday, but not like we should. Not like you are the essence of all good things and I am impetuously passionate enough to divulge every moment in surrendering to your flood.
 I spend time with you, but how dense is a pebble when You are the oceans floor and the salty solution that fills it? The matter filling the galaxy and the Creator of it? 
How did you let me leave you when I never deserved your presence in the first place? I’m in your bosom but I can’t even look in your eyes….I know you’re staring at me. When did distraction deteriorate the position of disciple? when did sacrifice seem so far and settling settle at home in my heart? I’m loving you deeply God. But not desperately enough. 

I’m consuming food instead of more of you. I’m inhaling air as if it necessitates my life more than You. How can I drown in your depths when my flesh is content with floating? How did I ever get to the place where my actions said that you were not worth it? Lord, your blood has never dried. I bathe in it every morning. Lord, your love has no expiration date. There is no mold encrusting on the edges of your grace. It is I who decays. 

Even now these words feel like a mite in the hands of Heaven. I’m exhausted at the thought of how much words would weigh if they properly fit You. certainly not enough for my mouth to carry. certainly not enough for these fragile fingers, for these mortal hands.

unworthy is written in ashes on this body, and my skin has become sackloth. I mourn the time spent away from your heart. I mourn the minutes spent drawn from your glory. Yeshua, I am pitiful. Abba, pour out on me, even a little oil, even a drop, that I might adorn in your grace. Do you still accept the prayers of a peasant’s praise?

So at the foot of the Cross, Daddy, remember me. Rewind my desires to the beginning of time, where the Word was. Let me dwell there. Every day you call me. you tell me you love me. Your heart rings for me to answer. but somehow somedays the computer picks up before I do. “She’s busy, leave a message” it says. not today, God.

be the mist in the air, the morning dew on my chest, the electricity in skin, the bite of my mouth, the honey off my tongue, the heat in my spirit, the spark in my blood, the purpose of purpose and the presence of my hunger.

keep my face in your book

and my head to the floor

and my passion on it’s knees

nothing compares to You. Not full days or silent nights, not words about You that hollow at the center, or songs that sing your name in vain, not a few moments a day nor just enough to get by.

inundate me, Lord.

fill me up, God. fill me up.

Gonna Get Married!

 "For your Maker is your husband —
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; 
    he is called the God of all the earth"

Isaiah 54: 5 NIV

I get butterflies when I think about the Bridegroom...I can't wait til our wedding. 
I get anxious and giddy and excited whenever I know I'm going to meet Him. 
I want to write Him love letters, I read His love letter to me daily. 
His embrace feels better than human arms. His words rest in my marrow. 
I can't get Him off my mind, I'm unapologetically obsessed. 
I love I love I love I love my first love, the King of kings who sits on the throne and reigns forevermore. 
He is the greatest and best love I will ever know. 
Any other love experienced is only a mere replica of His agape towards me. 
I will live and die and eat and breathe and sing and glorify His love, From now to eternity. He never stops pursuing me, there for I give Him my life.